How do retired people have fun?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

Lesbian???

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, "Are you a real pilot?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans. I flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?"

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."

Think before you speak

Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. "Well, dear, it's called sexual intercourse."

"Oh, " Little Tony said, "OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma,it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."

Funny Commercial - Zazoo Condoms

Funny Commercial - Zazoo Condoms

Porsche commercial

A really good commercial for Porsche.